The Frugal Duchess, another blog that I enjoy reading, recently posted CNN’s profile of a middle-class mother with two kids.  In the CNN piece, Patricia Guerrero describes how she was forced to go to a local food bank for groceries after she lost her $70k a year job.  A commenter on the Frugal Duchess blog noted that the video accompanying the CNN article showed Guerrero describing how she took off her Tiffany bracelet and ditched her Coach handbag in her car before entering the food bank.  The CNN footage of Guerrero’s house showed luxury fixtures and appliances, including black granite counter tops, a flat plasma screen tv, a stainless steel refrigerator and hardwood floors.  Guerrero also talked about how, at the food bank, the lady helping her offered to pay her utility bill.  The commenter naturally wondered why Guerrero didn’t try to sell her luxury possessions before having someone at the food bank, who might be even poorer, pay her utility bill.  The Frugal Duchess posted a follow-up on this comment and listed some items she would sell if in the same situation and things that she has already cut back on.

I had read the same article on CNN.com and marveled at how quickly Guerrero’s life unraveled.  Were her finances that bad that she would have to go a food bank one month after being laid off?  After reading the Frugal Duchess blog, I went back to CNN.com and watched the video of the woman’s interview.  Guerrero said that she had used her tax refund to pay bills for the last month and that with her unemployment check and rental income from her mother’s house, she can only afford to cover her $2,500/month mortgage.  There is no other money to pay for food or utilities.  Guerrero also complained that she applied for but was turned down for food stamps because she owned her house.  However, what struck me about the interview was Guerrero’s obliviousness as to why she is in this situation.

     1.  She said that she didn’t take her Coach bag into the food bank.  “[The handbag] isn’t worth anything because [I] don’t have a dime.” 

     2.  Describing how she applied for but was rejected for food stamps:  “I never used the system…I needed it now and it let me down.” 

     3.  In response to the food bank employee’s offer to pay her utility bill: “This is really where I’m at?”

I’m channeling a little Suze Orman here, but Guerrero needs to shake off the deer in the headlights attitude and take control of the situation.  Guerrero may or may not have learned her lesson about lacking a rainy day fund or spending beyond her means, but what about what she can do now to feed her kids? 

• Sell the Coach bag or Tiffany bracelet on Ebay or at the consignment store - they’ll certainly fetch more than a few bucks.  Guerrero probably has many other nice outfits, handbags, and jewelry in her closet that she could sell.
• Get a job, any job, whether at the fast food joint, Home Depot, or the department store to make money to buy food.  With the mortgage covered and her mother at home to take care of the kids, Guerrero should be able to make enough for groceries and utilities, even making minimum wage.
• Demand that her estranged husband contribute to the household expenses, including paying child support.  If he refuses, go to the local government agency that handles child support cases and file a complaint against him.  If the husband is working, his wages can be garnished.

These are just some ideas off the top of my head; I’m sure there are others.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for oneself when bad luck strikes, but the bottom line is that Guerrero, just like the millions of homeowners who bought or borrowed too much house, need to do what they can to help themselves first before turning to the government.  Going to the food bank should be a measure of “last resort,” reserved for those people who have already exhausted every other avenue and are hanging on by a thread.