I recently received an email from a reader in New York City:

              Dear Financial Gal-

I read your post about disgruntled lawyers.  I am a dissatisfied attorney myself and looking to get out of my 16 hour/day never-see-the-light-of-day associate position at a major law firm.  I have been trying to save enough money to cover my expenses for at least six months so that I can take time off to travel or simply decompress, but I can’t seem to reach the goal.  Although I am making a decent salary, NYC is a very expensive place to live.  Most of my paycheck gets eaten up by taxes, rent, dry cleaning, dinners out, new suits, etc.  My biggest problem is that because I’m so stressed out at work, I tend to spend my free time shopping to blow off some steam.  I have a closetfull of clothes and shoes that I have barely worn.  I suspect that what I’m doing amounts to emotional spending, like emotional eating.  How can I control this bad habit so that I can move on with my life plans?

            Suffering big law associate.

I completely empathize, because I’ve been there myself.  My first job outside of law school required 14 hour days and frequent weekend work.  On those rare weekends where I actually got a day off, I spent them sprawled on the couch or at the mall, trying to figure out which pair of shoes to buy.  Just like digging into a ice cream sundae, shopping was an indulgent fix (albeit temporary) to my stress-ridden life.  Of course, when you are working that much, the last thing you want to do is clean your own house or do your own laundry.  Hence, you incur even more expenses and dig yourself further into the money pit.  Here’s my two cents on what to do:

1. Make a plan to escape.  Just like Tim Robbins’ character in the Shawshank Redemption, sometimes it takes a few pebbles at a time to dig yourself out of your cell.  Your exit won’t happen right away, but if you have a plan, this will instantly boost your spirits.  Chart your goals for the next year.  When do you absolutely want to be out of your job?
2. Once you have your deadline set, figure out how much money you need to set aside for each paycheck to reach your goal.  Then, set up an automatic withdrawal plan with an online bank like www.ingdirect.com.  The money will disappear out of your account before you’ve even gotten your hands on it.
3. Credit card therapy:  Reduce your credit card stash in your wallet to no more than two cards.  Then, tape a note to each card to remind yourself that you are sticking to your plan NOT to spend so that you can reach your financial goal.  If you want to be even more graphic, include on your note a picture of the partner that is making your life a living hell.
4. Go through your closet and rid yourself of the clothing that you no longer wear or don’t ever intend to wear.  Calculate how much money you spent on those clothes.  Write that number down using a big black magic marker and stick it on your refrigerator as a reminder of the cash that was wasted.  Chances are you would have already reached your six month goal had you not made those purchases. 
5. For the clothes that are still wearable (which I am guessing is all of them), donate them to Goodwill or to Dress for Success.  Pat yourself on the back.
6. Last tip:  Reduce your contact with shopaholic friends and family.  You would be amazed at how peer pressure will cause you to spend needlessly.

Let me know how you’re doing and whether you have adopted any of these tips.  There are going to be days when you find it too difficult to resist a purchase here or there.  But when you do make progress, you need to congratulate yourself and remind yourself of your long-term goals.  From all of us disgruntled lawyers, we are all rooting for you!